Bodhgaya. As We’ve Gathered Under Bodhi Tree.
This is Kaguy Monlam-2008.
It’s quite rare that you get the chance to see both lineage holders together: Karmapa and Shamarpa, Black Hat Lama and Red Hat Lama.
And also most of our lamas together with them. Lama Ole Nydahl was not present which is no wonder as it’s totally different style though same lineage.
Beru Khyetse Rinpoche and Jamgon Konthrul. A father and a son.
It’s interesting how it is like to be a son of a buddhist Lama. How it is to be surrounded from the very childhood with what many people choose only reaching quite mature age? I read that H.H. Sakya Trizin, the supreme head of Sakya lineage went to his first retreat when he was 3 years old. And at 4 he gave his first empowerment. Do you remember what you were doing where you were 3 or 4 years old?
It’s incredibly inspiring. From one side. But how not to lose a living person behind Buddhism? This is from another side.
When Buddhism in my life has become more than enough I started thinking about how not to lose a person in me as well.
How to find a balance between "I have to" and "I want to".
When every blessing of Lama is like ecstasy then there are no such questions.
When you can feels Lama’s presence at approximately 7 meters distance with quivering all over your skin and spontaneous joy in your mind.
When the world is divided in to brightness and darkness. Bright light of the mind next to Lama, impenetrable, full of suffering Sansara away from him.
But what to do if it all suddenly ends?
If regardless of near or far Lama is, either standing next to you, or blessing you right now you still feel the same. Still looking into the mirror of your mind.
And you can see only what is reflected there. You see that as the Lama, as people, as a world.
At the beginning I was given a big advance by life: I feel in love with Karmapa. Thus all my natural tendencies were turned into to practice simply and easily. The wish of happiness for the beloved one has become the wish of happiness for all the living beings, as he needs nothing else for his personal happiness. The wish to be close to the beloved one has become practicing meditation in the power field of the Teacher. The belief into mutual love of a Bodhisattva who’s realized his true nature as loving kindness and compassion has become the blessing of all the transmission lineage.
But everything is impermanent. Everything lasts just as long the the causes and conditions last. The condition was my wish to love, the cause was my illusion of purity. My stiff ideas. It all was over just as I decided to stop looking for illusory perfection and plainly live my life, such as it is.
This is very interesting but sometimes very strange. Some things inside of myself are totally unlike to what I would like to see.
Coming back to the matter of Buddhism in a person and a person in Buddhism, I recall once again how I was thinking about who Tulkus are, why they are chosen. How are they chosen? Could it be that every child can be brought up from the infancy believing in one’s higher mission? Would they then naturally grow into a Lama?
If we all were robots living according to logic only, then it would have been so. But there is also a feeling, our own sensation, our wish to live exactly the way we are living. If it coincides with Dharma then the child climbs by himself laps of a some Higher Lama and says something like "I am Karmapa". And if it does not coincide, then these are the examples of Tulkus you would not like to think about.
My mind has cracked. I went to the limit of "have to" and I cannot live like that anymore. I forgive all my debts before myself, all my duties for myself and all my promises to myself. I will live only the way I feel. As I want to live. Where I come, where I will be brought to is going to be what I really am. Without a deceit. Without pretense.
When it was getting dark our gompa was light so that rather resembled a casino than a monastery.
I launch the ball to the circle, you can make your bets. Red, black, or zero. Moscow, Kalimpong, Delhi.
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April 22, 2009 4:48 pm
By Wolf77, October 22, 2009 @ 8:47 pm
Roman Catholics that mass in front of St. ,
By shodo, December 14, 2009 @ 7:10 pm
I have lived in Japan and at temples. I am a long time Soto Zen Buddhist practitioner and I am American.
I would like to take over a temple so the tradition does not die out.
Contact Shodo at zen.zazen@yahoo.com if I can be of help. Gassho